News from the Dominant People Group

Well, the project presentation on Saturday went well. My partner Jeannie and I did a 30-minute talk on language differences. It was her brilliant idea to start off with an introduction in Spanish, wait a couple of beats, then provide a translation. She also came up with a handout featuring how to say "I Love You" in ten different languages; our classmates got a kick out of that and the chocolate candy hearts were appreciated. I'm not biased, mind you, but I think our presentation was the best. Everything just came together. Unfortunately, our other partner, Nancy, had to drop out of the course because of conflicts with her work schedule. I wonder how many of us in this first cohort will make it to the end. Want to place bets?

I finished reading the text assignments today. Not a moment too soon. It's been a travail dealing with the tone of this text and its prissy political correctness. I don't know how many times I've been told that I'm a member of the "dominant" group in this country. But wait. If I'm a female, then it means I'm at least an "oppressed" member of the "dominant" group. Jeannie got really steamed over the repeated usage of "oppressed" in our text to refer to minority groups. Her parents are Puerto Rican and her first language is Spanish. She says it's crap like that promoting the victim mentality in this country. She could be right. Jeannie and I also had a laugh on Saturday when one of the other groups presented a project on discrimination against children and teens. They call this "adultism." I asked why they didn't call it "teenism" or at least "young adultism." (Thank goodness there's always a heckler in the group when things get too smug up front.) Please don't tell any kids you know that they are victims of "adultism." They get away with enough as it is. Can you imagine your grandmother complaining because someone told her to quit acting like a kid or yelled at her to go to her room? I think maybe we all led simpler lives before we discovered discrimination and discovered how "oppressed" we are.

It's been an interesting class. Last week, to make her point about other cultures, our little redheaded instructor snuck in the back door wearing a long black robe and head covering. I want to say she called it an abiyeh, but I've probably got the spelling wrong. She spent 8 years teaching in Saudi Arabia and told us about her experiences and the culture there. She said the culture is very restrictive. Men can have up to four wives if they can support all of them equally, and a husband can accuse his wife of adultery if he has three witnesses. I guess he could find the guys that she supposedly slept with. Someone asked if they still stone women for adultery in Saudi Arabia and our instructor said they put the woman at the bottom of a cliff and push stones over onto her using a bulldozer. Of course, it's terrible, but one guy in our class says, "I'm getting tired of being told we have to be tolerant of people like that!" Maybe he'd like to go to Saudi Arabia and voice his opinion. What's scary is the unspoken message behind his comment. There are many people in this part of the country who believe the USA has the divine right to force other people to do things our way. I think that's where this guy was coming from. Maybe he was really saying, "We don't have to be tolerant of people like that! We can just go over and bomb the heck out of them!" Then again, I could be wrong.

When our instructor asked who would hesitate to get on an airplane if a man wearing middle eastern dress were in front of them in line, a young man in the back shot up his hand. He said that he had been in Iraq for a year and a half and he still thought of all those people over there as "______" (you fill in the blank). He said the Army had taught him to think that way. Our teacher observed that this happens every time there is a war and they have to gear up soldiers to fight Japanese or Germans or Iraqis or whoever. This young man wants to be a teacher, and he knows that he's still dealing with biases instilled by Uncle Sam. I think it's a bloody shame that the Army can teach you to think that way, but they can't change you back again. I don't know. Maybe they have Sensitivity Training. Or maybe they just gave the guy our textbook and sent him to this class.

In reading some of my classmates' answers to questions about local religious practice, there must be a lot more diversity here than meets the eye. I figured this area was all conservative Protestant territory that strongly supports President Bush. (I see enough of the dang "W" stickers on SUVs!) But things may not be as they seem. I think the presence of Eglin Air Force Base (largest military installment in the free world!) makes up the difference. We have people coming and going in this county who do not come from here, and they bring their religious practices with them. One guy said he had friends who were Methodist, Baptists, Unitarians, Muslims and something else which I forget. Maybe. But there are still over 50 variations on Baptist churches listed in the local phone book, and we're talking about in the Crestview area alone. I don't think I'm going to be doing much interaction with these diverse religious populations living out in the country. School might be my best shot.

The first night of class we talked about "comfort zones" and the teacher said the way to expand your comfort zone is through education and experience. So, I decided to test the theory, and Ed and I went out to a traditional Japanese restaurant on Friday night. I'd been to a Japanese steak house before, but this was different -- no floorshow, just food. Ed got some kind of soup with things floating in it and I had the teriyaki chicken. I found that a little tempura goes a long way. But, and this is the part I wanted to tell you about, I ate my entire meal with chopsticks! And it didn't take me two hours! I strayed out of my comfort zone and things turned out fine. Let this be a lesson to us all.

Today, I went with my grandmother to the nursing home to help her get settled in. My grandfather is having his knee surgery on Thursday and my grandmother will be staying at the nursing home while he's going through rehab. This is the same place she stayed in 2004 when she had three surgeries on her own knee. I asked her today before we left how she felt, if she was ready, and she said she was dreading it. I told her to think of it as a vacation; she wouldn't have to go and get her blood drawn (they'll do it there weekly) and she wouldn't have to go to any doctors for the next 30-60 days. It must be hard, when you're 80, to step out of your comfort zone. Remember that and do all the things you'd like to do now. Anyway, the nursing home was very nice. Clean, shiny, and no smells at all. There were cockatiels in cages off the lobby, a fancy fountain in the courtyard, and a screened sunporch not far from the hall where my grandmother is staying. She was welcomed by at least half a dozen nurses and care givers who remembered her from her previous stay. A few of them came and gave her a hug. It was the best possible experience, I think, she could have had and I offered a prayer of thanks. Did I tell you I took my grandmother to a drive through carwash a couple of weeks ago, and it was the first time she'd been to an automatic carwash? When I asked her if she had ever had Chinese food, she said, "I've had rice." I think I'll take her some eggrolls one day and see what she thinks about them.

It's late and my husband is waiting at home. Diversity ends on Thursday and my next class starts Monday. Stay tuned for more adventures from academia.