As Good As It Gets

My husband and I watched this 1997 film the other night, second time for him, third time for me. What a pleasant surprise! I'd forgotten how much I really like this movie. I've got it on DVD now, so one of these days I'm gonna watch it with the commentary on.

Most people have probably seen it, the story of a mean and nasty obsessive compulsive writer, played by Jack Nicholson, who falls for a single-mom waitress, played by the lovely Helen Hunt. Greg Kinnear plays Simon, Jack's gay neighbor; he's the character with the dog so ugly he's cute and he darn well steals the show. I'm not going to summarize the plot. If you read the blog and are intrigued, I figure you'll see the film. But, I will tell you a couple of reasons why I like the movie so much.

1. The film shows us that love is not for perfect people. Melvin, Jack's character, is a mess, yet he gets a chance with Carol. Even after he screws things up again and again, there's some kind of chemistry bubbling between the two characters that won't quit. When I was going through a spell of depression and whining to my therapist about all the things wrong with me he asked, "So, you think only beautiful people fall in love?" He had a point. Love happens. To everyone -- fat, short, neurotic, whatever. This makes me question why we put so much emphasis on appearance in our culture, but that's a topic for another blog. When it comes to love, you just have to show up with open hands.

2. This film shows different kinds of love. Even the Big L Word can't be summed up by romantic swooning. Carol loves her sick son Spencer. The ugly little dog comes to love Melvin (and not just for the bacon in his pocket). Carol's mom loves her daughter. Simon loves his friend and agent played by Cuba Gooding Jr. And a tender, loving friendship blooms between Carol and Simon. Here's an idea: maybe all of our various experience of love teach us to love more completely. There isn't ANY sex in this movie, but there's a lot of love. Why doesn't it feel sappy? I credit the sharp writing and brilliant acting all around.

3. The movie shows how people come to love each other, and it's never a direct path. One of the famous lines from Jack's character is, "You make me want to be a better person," which he says to Carol just before he blows it in the hard shell crab restaurant. That line may be sound sappy, but just before he's explained that there are drugs that can help him with his OCD; he hates pills, but started taking his meds a few days before. Melvin may be a jerk, but love makes him want to change what he can in order to be around Carol and make her happy while he's around. Long before this exchange, Melvin talks his publisher into sending her physician-husband over to see Carol's sick boy. This is a big step for Melvin and he may not even be sure why he's doing such a generous act, but he's prodded by the inner nudge. Melvin's approach to Simon is just as oblique. When you're looking for love, you may take the long way around, but you get there all the same.

4. This film reminds me that life is about relationships. Not material possessions, not awards or degrees, prestige, social status, public approval, or leaving a legacy. Relationships. The bridges we build between ourselves and other people are the only things that will last and the only things that will matter when we're on our dreary death beds. Melvin will never be happy as a mean, foul-mouthed recluse. He has a chance at happiness in his friendships with Carol and Simon. Sometimes it's hard for me to love unlovely people. But I think of that ugly little dog and of all animals who love unconditionally. The dog shows Melvin the importance of relationship and it's a lesson that's played out throughout the film. Without the dog, there would have been no Carol at the end.

What else can I say? I think that sums it up.